Guiding Principles for Relationship

man wearing white shirt kissing woman in her nose
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Do you know how sometimes you hear or read something and you just get the truth of it instantly?

I’ve compiled a list of short statements below that help to define an ideal relationship to me. Some of them are original thoughts and some of them I just grocked right away.

Every once in a while I’ve come across a statement that describes how I want my intimate relationship to look and feel. These don’t need much examination or research, I just get it on a bone-deep level. Anyway, here they are:

Relationship Guiding Principles

Companionship without cling

Friendship without manipulation

Friendship over form

Love without conditions

Affectionate touch without obligation

Humor without sarcasm

Listening without judgment

Answers without shadow

Service without expectation

Support not suppression

Solutions instead of complaints

Acceptance without guilt or manipulation

Generosity of heart over attachment

I also find it helpful to speak these words silently in meditation as a way of orienting to unconditional love and acceptance:

I honor you

I bless you

   I release you

Tony Robbins teaches that true honesty is not telling someone else what you think of them, but being honest with yourself about your own motivations. I also find the Hawaiian Ho’oponopono prayer incredibly useful to keep the focus on my own shortcomings and staying in empathy and compassion vs. trying to over-examine other people.

I review this list every once in a while and honestly critique my own behavior and motivations. I ask myself: 1 – Do I love this principle?  2 – Do I offer this?

In this spirit, I recommend a song by Alanis Morissette, “You Owe Me Nothing In Return”. She sings to a generosity of spirit and great love and of being whole unto oneself. She is one of my relationship heroines.