The Art of Aural Sex (giving good phone)

Guess what? Your phone presence has a direct effect on the frequency and passion in your intimate relationship. While not necessarily thinking ahead to a sexual reward we’re building or diminishing a love connection with each interaction. Foreplay is a constant, rather than an event and one of the main things that a woman wants most from her man is presence. Without going into reasons why it matters, let’s just look at how we can have gratifying telephone interactions.

When my woman phones me I assume a desire for reassurance is built-in to any request for information. Whether consciously or not, she wants to feel that love is alive between us. She knows that I know it’s her who’s ringing my phone so how I answer sets an immediate tone.

I know (because I asked) whether she wants to hear a term of endearment or her name when I answer the phone. A conscious breath just before I pick up helps me transition my attention to her. If it isn’t a good time for me to talk on the phone we’re both better off if I pick up and let her know that, at this moment, I don’t have the space for an involved talk, but I’m glad to hear her voice and can arrange a time to talk later. If I have a pressing issue or if something else requires my steady focus it’s better if I let the call go to voicemail.

The importance of directly speaking to feelings is critical over the phone since body language is absent. I may tell her how the sound of her voice affects me or that I’m thinking of how beautiful she must be at this moment. Those are just examples, the main thing is to be real with what’s alive for you in a kind way. If she is speaking about feelings then I will respond to what she just expressed before talking about anything else.

Whether talking “business” or about intimate subjects like desire and dreams we’ll do better when it’s clear to each of us which purpose this call is serving and it’s helpful to have formal transitions. Saying, for instance, “Honey, I’m enjoying our talk/connection AND I need to change the subject to address some other things. Do you need anything else before we change gears?”

Then there’s the purely erotic phone call (slow wink). The more you know what you like and can own it, the more “sexy” it can be. The more detailed the fantasy, the more interesting it will be to both of you. “Oh yeah baby, I’ll come home and you’ll do me” is much less captivating then “When I walk through the door I want you wearing a short skirt and no panties and you’re going to be in the laundry room pretending that you haven’t heard me enter the house. I’ll see the light on and find you there. I’ll say your name in a deep voice and …” You get the idea!

At the end of the conversation, I try to leave my beloved with a sense of what’s in my heart. Extra points get awarded for speaking directly to feelings and needs while offering acknowledgment and understanding.

Declaration of Interdependence

I wrote this in 1996 at the birth of my second son.

When in the course of world events, it becomes necessary for all People to dissolve the beliefs which have separated them from one another, and to assume among the Powers of the Earth, the fully connected and responsible station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Creation requires that they should declare the affirmations which impel them to the connection.

We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all People are created equal, that they are endowed by the Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Pure Water, Pure Air, and the pursuit of Peace – That to secure these rights, values are instilled among people, deriving their dynamism from respect for all creation, that whenever any value becomes destructive to creation, it is the duty of people to alter or abolish it. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that values long established should not be changed for light and transient causes. But, when a long train of Abuses and Usurpations owing invariably to a certain conviction, evinces a design to diminish the vitality of creation, it is their right, it is their duty, to disregard such a standard, and to provide a suitable guiding principle to ensure harmony. Such has been the patient sufferance of all people and such is Now the necessity, which impels them to alter their former set of values. The history of the present system of values is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny of dominion over this earth.

We affirm the natural laws of creation and declare that all have a right and a sacred duty to respect them in all actions.

We declare that the right of denizens of Earth, born or unborn, to a clean and peaceful world shall not be diminished.

We affirm that every nation’s fundamental form of government shall be honored and allowed to evolve freely. We also affirm that the purpose of government is to abolish war and robbery, to establish peace and to cultivate a spiritually healthy society.

We define Peace as not simply the absence of war, but as the active striving of humans for universal justice. We hold that peace is the natural outcome of justice and that justice is the natural outcome of a spiritually strong society.

We declare that no government should keep a standing army in times of Peace.

We declare the rights of non-human creatures, including the four-leggeds, and the wingeds, to voice and consideration in the Houses of Representation. Human representatives shall be elected to speak for non-human concerns.

We declare that Every person is valuable and All ground is sacred.

We, therefore, the residents of this Beautiful Earth in Common Aspiration, appealing to the Supreme Goodwill of all people for the support of our intentions do solemnly Publish and Declare that all of creation on God’s Earth is sacred, holy, interconnected, interdependent, good and worthy of reverence. We acknowledge and hold true to our rightful membership as fellow inhabitants on this globe, and that as members of this family we have an obligation to conduct ourselves with compassion and in harmony with the rest of creation. And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our destiny and our sacred honor.