There are innumerable definitions of tantric sex (none are wrong). Here’s mine.
Sex is not tantric of itself. (Some would say that neo-tantra is neither new nor tantra!) Tantra is an attitude and awareness that we can bring to each moment (whether we’re sexing or dancing or texting).
Being tantric is living our divine nature at the surface of our human expression. It is an acceptance of what is, an acceptance of the truth that is each moment. Living tantra is choosing an openness to life that weaves into every action, thought and emotion.
Tantra is not imparted, rather it is awakened in our heart, similar to the way one candle lights another – an awakening of our own deep knowing. We all know intuitively that the spark of the Divine is inside us. The task, or Divine Invitation, is to feel and express this truth at our surface. So when we bring tantra to sexing, it’s now tantric sex!
My understanding continues to grow as I examine my choices and see the effect of grace in my life. I certainly do not mean to imply that being loving and “nice” is the only acceptable expression of love. Tantra welcomes wide freedom of play in the shadow realms. We can feel connection, power, excitement and arousal from playing on the edge of social or self-imposed norms. We don’t always have to be the ‘nice girl’ or the ‘good boy’ in order to please our inner judge. In fact, other parts of us may be thrilled when the inner judge is in recess!
To the extent that I see myself as an eternal soul, I see all people in true fellowship with me. Tantra respects the sovereignty of the individual and allows consciousness to unfold according to each person’s own need and in their own time. We all share a common creator and a common home and perhaps a common destiny.