How to be with your chosen woman when you’re attention has been drawn to another? Simply give her your presence. Just be with your woman when you’re with her. Really be with her. Show up for yourself and her when you’re together.
She is ever-changing and a source of wonder if you choose the intimacy of inhabiting the moment with her. You don’t have to be over-the-top, but don’t hold back affectionate feelings, either. Authentically share how important she is to you while keeping it light. Discover her “love language” (great book by Gary Chapman) and give affection in her ideal way. Remain open to her changing preferences.
When my head is turned to momentarily notice another beauty my woman is secure in knowing that I’m deeply in love with her and my appreciation of another’s radiance will not affect my want and desire for her. She’s confident that she’s the lasting object of my affection.
She knows this from our shared history. She knows the internal process that happens with me at those moments because I have communicated that with her. (Reference my article “When a Man Notices a Woman / Turn Lust Into Light”.) She feels the renewal and the life that I bring to her because I am alive and optimistic. She understands that she is my chosen one on a bodily and a spiritual level. She’s seen my integrity in action time and again. She gets that she is my clear choice.
It also helps us to re-orient to love (through words, affectionate touch and by connecting in a meaningful way at transitions). We often start the day with some form of connecting in love. We honestly offer the truth in our bodies. When I’m animated my lover knows and when I am feeling conservative with my energy I’ll communicate that. I choose her and she chooses me. This doesn’t stunt appreciation for passing light in the world. Passing light can be used to fuel my own optimism and light.