african american man in wireless earphones with organizer on bridge

Journaling Sustains Intimacy With Self

Journaling helps sustain intimacy with self. Journaling can tap into a source of spirit water that bubbles up from the well of mystery that you are. Journaling is a powerful tool to uncover one’s honest motivations, fears and values. What might be uncovered if you journaled as a consistent, daily practice? Simply journaling random thoughts … Continue reading Journaling Sustains Intimacy With Self

Penetrate The Moment

Penetrating the moment is a choice. One penetrates the moment by softening their mind and heart. With softness, comes easier acceptance of what is occurring in real time. Softness and acceptance becomes more natural with practice. The goal is not to ‘fix’ any given interaction. It’s about living in an alive, embodied present. This is … Continue reading Penetrate The Moment

Self-Care Reunites You With You

This is part of a series of excerpts from my forthcoming book. Self-care reunites you with what you value. Knowing your most important values makes choosing priorities and commitments more obvious. Put the big pieces in place and let everything else fill in around the ‘must do’ items. We can all improve at prioritizing self-care. … Continue reading Self-Care Reunites You With You

silhouette of a person standing in front of a horse during golden sky

Life Responds To How You Show Up

I felt elevated and moved by grace as the large horse pivoted and turned under my saddle. My hands held the soft leather reins loosely, yet with confidence, as the narrow and rough trail we’d been following snaked down a thickly forested slope. She and I had learned to trust one another over time and … Continue reading Life Responds To How You Show Up

Trading Truth For Comfort

Trading truth for comfort is a poor bargain. Living in the shallow end is suffering. Depth is where you’ll discover @TheRealYou. As a young man I suffered from lack of imagination of who and what I could be. I only envisioned a fuzzy, ill-defined future. It was not until about age 40 that I formulated … Continue reading Trading Truth For Comfort

You Must Be Present To Win

The following is an excerpt from my forthcoming book: Cultivating presence is cultivating personal power and vice-versa. You must be present to win. Honesty with self is power. Your body and the moment is where truth lives. Find your body and you find the moment. Find the moment and you win. The present moment is … Continue reading You Must Be Present To Win

Responding to Relationship Stress with an F word

The following is an excerpt from my soon-to-be released book: I’ve compiled a list of several ‘F’ words relevant to intimate relationship. They are: Fight, Flight/Fantasy, Faint/Fold, Freak/Flail, Freeze, Fix, Fun, Feel, Flow and F**k. Our teachers in school told us that humans essentially only have two main responses to stress (that being fight or … Continue reading Responding to Relationship Stress with an F word

Killing a Deer, Honoring a Woman

As a young man, I killed a deer. It was one of the most profound moments in my life. I did not take this act lightly in any way. My purpose was food for the upcoming winter. Whether directly or indirectly, we all ‘take’ life in order to live. A life of some kind was … Continue reading Killing a Deer, Honoring a Woman

close up of an iris flower

Safety in Intimacy

In my experience, the things that most allow a woman to trust and open to an intimate partner are love and safety. With these two elements in place, a woman may more fully open her heart, whether it be a one-time, long-term, committed belovedship or a marriage. With a trustable and loving partner she can … Continue reading Safety in Intimacy

The Peace of the Mountains

Long vistas of ridges beyond ridges and deep, steep roadless canyons. A hot, sunny, still and cloudless day under a seemingly endless blue sky. I was traveling along a dry, rocky and rough dirt track through the mountains. Somewhere past halfway to the destination I came across a spring-fed pool. Water sheeted down a short … Continue reading The Peace of the Mountains

a couple kissing

Become An Expert In Loving Your Woman

Do you want to be deeply happy with each other? Do you want your life to be guided and moved by love? A good way to increase loving contentment is to become an expert in loving your woman. The goal is not to be an expert on any woman or all women, but this very … Continue reading Become An Expert In Loving Your Woman

close up photo of two person s holding hands

Guiding Principles for Partnership

It is said that true honesty is not about telling someone else what you think of them, but being honest about your own motivations. Every once in a while I come across a statement that describes how I want my intimate relationship to look and feel. Here are some of the best: Partnership Guiding Principles … Continue reading Guiding Principles for Partnership

young woman stroking horse in sunlight

Horses, Tango, Intimacy

Horse. I felt elevated and moved as if by grace as the large horse pivoted and turned under my saddle. Her body and mind were in tune with my intention as we negotiated a hillside. The narrow and rough trail we had been following snaked down a forested canyon slope. My hands held the soft … Continue reading Horses, Tango, Intimacy

man and woman staring at each other

Be With Her

How to be with your chosen woman when you’re attention has been drawn to another? Simply give her your presence. Just be with your woman when you’re with her. Really be with her. Show up for yourself and her when you’re together. She is ever-changing and a source of wonder if you choose the intimacy … Continue reading Be With Her

When I Notice Another Woman

After my article “When a Woman Turns a Man’s Head” the question was raised:  How do you be with your chosen woman’s feelings when you obviously notice another woman? My advice is to be really with your woman when you’re with her. Give her your 100% when you're together. Let her know how important she … Continue reading When I Notice Another Woman

Conscious Relationship Ending

This is simply one way to navigate a "breakup". I do not mean to imply this is the best method for everyone. My intimate partner and I recently shifted into being non-sexual friends and allies. I honor truth and depth and openness and, knowing this, my woman came to me with her difficult truth. She … Continue reading Conscious Relationship Ending